Can't fathom being the substance that makes his world collide

Yay Tuesday! Only 3 more days until I meet that beautiful baby boy! I'm so excited! That reminds me I should prolly go get him that shirt that says, I have the coolest Aunt ever and she lives in Texas! Something like that! :)

So last night I was up until 2:15 or so when I forced myself to lay down, I wasn't tired at all, which is wierd considering I've been sick and extremely busy with school stuff. I think my mind was just so overwhelmed with thoughts of life that it didn't have time to be tired. I have SO many things on my mind lately that I don't know how I ever concentrate long enough on one to have a complete conversation with anyone! I've been thinking about school, home, my family, my friends, old ones and new ones, how I've changed, how much I love my new job, how much I miss my friends at the old one, how much things change even through the course of a day...okay I think yall get the point. But one of the things that stuck out to me last night was how funny life can be.

We've all had that one person that we just "loved" so much and maybe had a chance with them but never really got them like we wanted. And we were heart broken and we were jealous of all that got to be with that person. And we thought about ways to make them like us. And we (well some of us maybe) wrote letters to that person but never gave the letters to them. And we swore we'd never like another person ever. And everyone tells you that it will be okay. That you will get over him or her and start liking other people. And I have definitely learned all of those things through the years, but the one thing that I've always been told in that situation but never believed, was that one day that boy would look back and realize what he had and wonder why he ever let it go. I have NEVER believed this, I've believed that I would get over them, that I would fall for others, and that eventaully I'd move on. That's just normal. But until last night I was never a believer of that boy looking back and wondering where HE went wrong. The boy shall go unnamed, but has always held a very special place in my heart, from the days of driving by and seeing him outside, to the days of morning runs to stop by and wake him up, to the days when he liked any girl but me, to the days of not talking, to now, that boy has ALWAYS had a special place in my heart. I've tried contacting him a few times through the years but never a conversation longer then hi how are you, and great how about you. Yesterday I decided to leave him a comment, and then he was online and we talked for a lil while, exchanged numbers, and then he asked if he could call me sometime so we could catch up. Last night I text him, just to say hi. And after a while of texting he said it, the thing I never believed ever happened, he said he was jealous of this guy I dated, he said that he knew he had had something good, and didn't know why he messed it up. I was SHOCKED, couldn't quit thinking about it. If he only knew the number of times I've thought about him over the years. Apparently he was thinking of me to.

So from experience I can now tell all my girls that get their heart broken, some day, whether you know it or not he will look back and realize what he had, and wonder why he messed it up! And guys this does apply to you as well, some day that girl that you always wanted to give you the attention you gave her, will regret letting you go.

Funny...can't seem to wrap my mind around this right now...